Fathers Heart

Posted: November 6, 2014 in About Us, Missions, Revelation, Testimony
Tags: , , , , , , ,

This is the first of many revelations the lord has given me. This one is very important to my calling and its nice to see it birth in our family right now

When I got saved I had a desire to be married but not to have children. After having my first daughter Lauren I was faced with the coldness of my heart. I loved my daughter but I noticed my heart was cold toward her at times and I felt like I should have more love in my heart for my child. I begin to take this lack to the Lord. I said things like If I am a Christian God why don’t I have more love for children. God you desire children so I should desire children. I asked God why do you want children when it seems like all your children hate you. I went to God for about a year and a half asking him for more and for him to change my heart in this area.

It was around august of 2011 when I had a dream. There was a small child about the age of my daughter 15months old in front of me in this dream. His face was old and wrinkled he was carrying a cigar. His voice was raspy he walked back and forth cursing and blaspheming the name of the Lord. I instantly knew everything about his life how his parents raised him up till this age. I knew that they loved the way he acted and they had sought ways to profit off of how old he acted at his young age. I knew that everyone around him supported his actions and thought it was cute such a small baby talking so grown up and cussing. I began to become angry not at the child but because of the things he had been exposed to and I knew he would go to hell if he wasn’t told about Jesus. So I grabbed him by the shoulders and turned him toward me so he was looking at my face. I said to him don’t you know there is a God who loves you and died for your sins so that you can have eternal life. As soon as I said this the old man broke off his face and looked like an infant again. He had never heard about God before. I picked him up and he had baby talk again. Holding him in my arms I told him now you need to repent and tell Jesus you’re sorry. I woke up after that and the Holy Spirit spoke to me even the youth of this generation are mature in sin, Because of the things they are exposed to.

I went to go to prayer and to read the bible. As I read the book of Mathew I got to the part where Herod gave the decree to kill the children after Jesus had been born. When I read this my mind went to the days of Moses and how the Pharaoh gave the same order when Moses was born. I made the connection that when a deliverer is born the Devil strikes to kill the children and stop the deliverer from coming. The Holy Spirit then spoke to me and said again the devil is raging trying to stop a generation from being born that will hasten my return. It was clear in my mind children being aborted killed in the womb. The Spirit of God rested on me and I began weeping I could see how big and loving his heart was for his children and I saw my small cold heart next to it. The Holy Spirit began bringing specific times when I was cold toward my child I began repenting. In that moment my heart was being changed. After I repented He lifted off of me and I could lift my head up and I was able to stop crying. I felt like I was supposed to read some more so I looked down and the next verse I saw was Matt 2:18 “A voice heard in Ramah, weeping and great mourning, Rachael weeping for her children refusing to be comforted, because they are no more.” As soon as I finished reading it The Holy Spirit rested on me again I began weeping and He spoke to me how long will she cry out alone when will the fathers lift their voices, When will the children cry out. Fathers turn your hearts to your children, children to your fathers. When God lifted His Spirit off of me I knew my heart had been changed and he had called me to be a father and that he was pouring out the spirit of Elijah to make strait the way before the Lord.

It was three days after that when I was driving I saw a vision of the youth of this generation. I saw the mouth of hell open and the children walking to fall into it. I saw the things in their lives causing them to fall. I began weeping again under the presents of God for this generation to know Jesus and was thinking to myself really God doing this when I’m driving seems like the worst timing. Needless to say after these events I knew God was calling me to youth ministry. That there is a fatherless generation that needs fathers.

God did answer my question about why he desires children. He took my mind to David and how his heart’s desire was to prepare a place for God to dwell. God told him he wouldn’t but his son Solomon would and that David needed to prepare and gather everything Solomon would need. David gave Solomon all the riches of the kingdom to build a temple for God to dwell in. After He revealed this He said to me in the same way I sent my Son Jesus with all the riches of the kingdom to prepare a place for me to dwell. I desire children because they fulfill the desire of My heart.

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